


When You Move, I Move

by fictionallemons



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Fantasizing, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mechanic Jensen Ackles, Misunderstandings, Porn, References to Depression, Scientist Jared, Singing Jensen Ackles, Sober Jensen, Suicidal Thoughts, Texas, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24790405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionallemons/pseuds/fictionallemons
Summary: Coming out to people who knew him way back when never gets any easier for Jensen, but somehow it becomes impossible when confronted with Jared Padalecki, no longer the lanky kid Jensen remembers from high school. Jared's hot and gay. Jensen's an idiot. Misunderstandings, pining, and a happy ending follow.Complete!
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 40
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm borrowing J2's names and faces for this original story. I've never been to Austin, so forgive any errors of geography. Title from Hozier's "Movement." 
> 
> I reply to comments, and they are much appreciated. <3
> 
> Enjoy!

Jared Padalecki knew a lot about new beginnings. He liked them, generally, liked the feeling of possibility and freedom to try something new, to leave the old him behind and be someone different. He'd done it when he'd left his small Texas town for college at Brown. 

Brown had offered a beginning like nothing else—he kissed a boy for the first time during orientation week and his life was never the same. He'd started over yet again when he moved from his cozy college town to the big city of Boston for his combined Masters Ph.D. program in environmental science. And now he was embarking on another new beginning—starting his dream job with an NGO specializing in endangered species. 

The job was new, the city was new, even if it was back in his home state of Texas. Austin was hours away from where he'd grown up, but Jared had discovered several of his high school friends had established themselves here while he was steeped in East Coast academia. Sterling, once Left Fullback to Jared's Center Back on their high school soccer team, was a wealth manager at Morgan Stanley. Megalyn, who'd played Sarah in _Guys 'n Dolls_ while Jared did his best Frank Sinatra impression in his turn as Nathan Detroit, was a high school drama teacher. Gen, Jared's date to sophomore year's Winter Formal, at which she informed him she was only going with him because Karen Jennings had turned her down, was the bassist in an up-and-coming alt-rock band. It had been cool to see them again after all this time.

So Jared didn't mind new beginnings. But a month into his new life in Austin, he had to admit he was lonely. He hung out with Sterling and Megalyn and even Gen, when she was in town, even though she was more often than not on the road touring with her band. But he wasn't dating. Maybe he wasn't entirely over Jeff, who'd stayed behind in Boston, but he'd been too busy getting used to his job and furnishing his apartment to delve into the Austin gay scene. He'd text Gen for some gay-friendly bar recs so he could get out of his dry spell. He had to get over Jeff sometime. 

He was scrolling through his texts to find Gen's thread when a new one popped on the screen from Megalyn.

_You'll never believe who I just saw at the farmer's market. Jensen Ackles. He's prettier than I remembered. Lives in Windsor Park, apparently. I told him you're new to the city._

Jensen. Woah. Jared hadn't thought about him in ages. He heard occasional updates from Megan, who was still in touch with Mackenzie, but he hadn't seen him since high school graduation. He idly noted that Windsor Park wasn't that far from Jared's own place in North Loop, and went back to work without texting Gen after all.

A week went by and he noticed a new follower on his rarely used Instagram account: **jacklestx** , and a DM from two days before. _Hey man it's Mackenzie's brother, Jensen. Heard you were in town. Catch up sometime?_

Jared laughed. It was strange that Jensen would think the only way Jared would remember him was as Mackenzie Ackles's big brother. Yeah, it had been almost ten years, but he didn't need to look at Jensen's feed to recall his emerald green eyes or the way he threw his entire body into a laugh. He clicked over anyway, but it was mostly pictures of cars, which made no sense until he read Jensen's bio. _Classic car restoration. Barbecue lover._

After Jared scrolled down far enough, he finally found a picture Jensen had posted of himself, a blurry selfie that showed him smiling, his hair much shorter than high school, his arm slung around a pretty redhead. They looked happy. Jared smiled. One of the strangest parts of this new phase of his life was the way old friends kept cropping up. It didn't feel as anxiety-producing as he might have thought. He and Jensen had been friendly back in high school, and their little sisters had been in each others' pockets, though they'd never been super close themselves. Catching up might be fun.

He tapped out a reply to the DM. _Hey Jensen. Yeah, moved here a couple of months ago. Coffee?_

Jared looked at what he'd written, then deleted _Coffee?_ and replaced it with _Drink? Workhorse, Friday?_

Without thinking about it too hard he changed his settings so he'd get a little ding when he had new Instagram notifications. Later that day in the middle of working on a grant application the telltale noise had him reaching for his phone. Jensen had replied.

Jared couldn't help his pulse leaping a little bit as he opened the app. Which was weird, because it wasn't like this was a dating app. Jensen was a potential friend, not a potential date. But he was excited, anyway. Until he read Jensen's message, and then he felt like an ass. _Friday is good, but I'm sober, so maybe we could grab coffee instead?_

Shit. He hoped he hadn't offended Jensen, but if he had Jensen probably just wouldn't have replied. He checked his calendar and wrote back, choosing his words carefully. _No problem. My schedule Friday is flexible. Stars Cafe? You name the time._

He didn't want to come off as over eager, but he also didn't want Jensen to regret embarking on this trip down memory lane.

Jared tried to put the whole exchange out of his mind while he compiled some data points for his ongoing research project into the numbers of soft-shell turtles in Eastern Texas, only checking his phone again when he was packing up to go home for the day. Jensen had responded a few minutes ago. _9 too early?_

_9 is perfect. See you then._

Jared couldn't help smiling all the way home.


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen shouldn't have been nervous about meeting up with Jared Padalecki. It was just coffee, two high school friends catching up after a lot of years. Their sisters had been joined at the hip back then, and Jensen's memories of Jared were of a nice, slightly nerdy, string bean of a guy. 

From what he could tell from Jared's sparse Instagram feed, Jared was really into animals and ecology stuff, since most of the pictures were of landscapes with links to petitions with titles like Preserve the Wetlands! and Save the Flattened Musk Turtle! There had been one closeup of Jared's face, his unusual eyes reflecting the camera flash, that reminded Jensen that Jared had dimples and of the distinctive mole to the left side of his sloped nose.

So yeah, there was no reason to be nervous. Jensen had done this before. He had a routine now. Coffee, small talk, and then casually Jensen would ask if the person he was meeting up with had a significant other, and then they'd ask him, and he'd say, yeah, no, I'm single. And gay. And then they'd fumble for a response, which was usually positive, if awkward, and then they'd all go about their business.

His therapist, Maria, told him it was important for him to verbalize it to people who had known him when he was so far in the closet he hadn't even acknowledged to himself that he was gay. She thought it was good for him to be open about it, and he didn't deny it was easier to be around people when he knew that they knew. He was spared the agony of wondering what they thought, what assumptions that were making.

He'd done it with Genevieve, over waffles last summer. He'd already known she was bi, so that had been less awkward than most. He'd done it with Spencer Smith, his junior year biology lab partner, when they ran into each other at the bowling alley. And now he'd do it with Jared. No biggie. Maybe there'd be a time when coming out didn't feel like baring a part of his soul to a branding iron, searing it into oblivion. He was aware that he didn't owe anybody any goddamn thing, but Maria reminded him that he'd hidden his sexuality so thoroughly from the world, it had been hidden from himself for far too long. 

As much as it scared him, every time, it was always better afterward. Damn Maria always being right.

He got to Stars right at nine, wondering if Jared was likely to be late or early. He scanned the diner, looking for the skinny, floppy-haired kid he remembered from high school. No one matched that description, but his gaze snagged on a guy sitting alone in a booth, brown hair feathered over a high forehead, long enough to hang over his ears, broad shoulders clad in a denim button down. Jensen registered the flare of attraction—he liked strong guys—but it was immediately muted when he realized that the guy had a familiar pointy nose, accompanying mole, and yes—dimples—when he looked up, met Jensen's gaze, and smiled in recognition.

"Jensen! Hey, been a long time, man." Jared unfolded himself from the booth and Jensen couldn't breathe, because sometime between senior year and now Jared had grown. In every direction. He was a couple of inches taller than Jensen now, and his hand, more like a paw, clasped Jensen's warmly, covering it entirely.

"Hi, Jared," he managed. He could do this. So what if Jared was stupidly attractive? No big deal. It didn't change anything. "How've you been?"

They talked and ordered breakfast to go with their coffee. Jared told Jensen about his job, something to do with endangered species and counting turtles and Jensen found himself distracted by the flash of Jared's white teeth. Jared was apparently settling into Austin and back into Texas after so many years on the East Coast. 

Jensen gave him some restaurant recommendations—they both loved barbecue, though Jared was such an animal lover Jensen was surprised he wasn't vegan or something. "Nah, I do try not to eat that much red meat. But I make an exception for ribs." Jared smiled and Jensen dropped his gaze, absorbing himself in drawing designs in the condensation on the outside of his water glass.

"What about you? You're a mechanic?" From someone else, the sentence could have been dismissive. Jared made mechanic sound as impressive as astronaut.

"Started out as one, yeah. Moved into full restoration a few years ago, got my own shop now. We specialize in vintage American muscle cars." Jensen told him about his shop, the couple of employees he'd hired after the first year when he'd struggled to do it all himself.

"You own your own shop, that's amazing!" Jared enthused, his mouth full of eggs. Jensen shouldn't have thought that Jared talking with his mouth full was cute, but apparently he did. Crap.

"It's good to be the boss," Jensen agreed. "I just finished a big project so I'm taking a long weekend. Going to go visit my folks."

"That's great. I need to get up there to visit mine, too."

The conversation slowed down, and breakfast was almost gone. The server refilled their coffee cups; there wasn't any reason for Jensen not to ask. "So, I probably would have heard from Mac if you were married, but you seeing anyone?"

Jared cocked his head and smiled a strange little smile. "No. I broke up with my boyfriend when I moved here. Jeff didn't want to leave Boston, and I couldn't pass up this job. So. I'm single. What about you?"

There it was, the opening that Jensen had engineered. Only the script had been flipped and he couldn't figure out what he was supposed to say. "Your boyfriend?" he said, a bit numbly.

"Yeah. I'm gay. Thought maybe you'd heard that through the grapevine or something." Jared was as matter-of-fact as if they were talking about the sun rising in the east every morning.

"No. No." Jensen swallowed. He knew that when someone came out to you, the polite thing to do was to come out to them. All he had to say was "I'm gay, too," and they'd nod and move on to discuss the Spurs or something. 

He opened his mouth, but he couldn't form the words. Jared was too—too much what Jensen wanted. Too nice. Too smart. Too goddamn built like a brick house. And for him to be gay, too, and single. _Available._ Jensen's brain was fried like an overloaded circuit and he couldn't find the fuse box in the dark. "No," he said again for no reason.

"Okay." Jared waited, as if he thought Jensen might say something else, but Jensen was frozen like a ice cube. The chilliness seeped into the atmosphere as the easy camaraderie they'd been sharing to shifted to something stilted. Jensen knew he was fucking up right now, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. 

"Well, I'm glad we got to catch up, man," Jared said, his voice calm as ever, but maybe there was a thread of hurt there, too.

Jensen forced a smile. "Me too. Hey, maybe we could go get ribs sometime?" He didn't know why he suggested it. It wasn't like it was going to get easier to be around someone he was extremely attracted to and incapable of being real with, but he seemed to be making one genius decision after another today.

"Yeah, maybe," Jared said noncommittally.

They split the check and Jared said he had to run to a meeting. Jensen watched him grab his bike from the rack outside and head downtown.

"That went well," Jensen muttered to himself sourly. Best case scenario? He'd never see Jared again.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared had been in a grumpy mood all weekend. After his breakfast with Jensen, which had started out great and ended up kind of shitty, he'd slogged his way through his Friday work day, gotten one grant proposal rejection, and almost crashed his bike on the way home avoiding a squirrel that had darted out in front of him. Saturday he'd grumped around, halfheartedly doing chores and avoiding grocery shopping, which left him eating three-day-old leftovers for dinner.

Okay. He couldn't blame all of that on Jensen. He probably ought to blame himself, for letting his imagination get carried away over their breakfast. He'd felt comfortable right away with Jensen, who was down-to-earth and interesting. Oh yeah, and hot as hell. 

Car restoration must have been pretty physical, because Jensen's plain black t-shirt had fit snugly over his beefy shoulders and hugged his flat stomach. His hair was cut shorter than he used to wear it in high school, and the trim, almost military look suited him, matching the sharp line of his cheekbones, his face softened only by his unreal lips and thick fringe of eyelashes. He'd grown from an attractive kid into a gorgeous man. Jared blamed that and his admitted loneliness for imagining there was a spark between them that went beyond two old friends getting reacquainted.

He couldn't have been more wrong, apparently. He'd confidently answered what he'd interpreted as Jensen fishing for his availability and gotten stonewalled in return. Jared didn't go out of his way to make people comfortable with his sexuality, or even to broadcast it, though he didn't hide it, either. But he hadn't gotten such a cold reception since his awful senior thesis advisor had thought by coming out to him, Jared was hitting on him. Gross. 

It was a shame that intriguing, sexy Jensen Ackles was a homophobe.

Sunday, Jared was determined to shake off his disappointment in Jensen and get out of the house. He texted Sterling, who suggested a jog on the university track. Jared was dripping by the second lap, but the exercise felt good. Sterling was pretty fast, and they pushed each other until Jared lost track of the laps and they collapsed on the bleachers, legs burning.

"You got a busy week?" Sterling asked, chugging from his water bottle.

"Not too bad. Why?"

"Gen's birthday—she said she'd be in town, so we thought we'd get together on Wednesday. Pizza and beer. Maybe jam a little." Sterling had a keyboard, Megalyn sang, and Gen played bass, of course. Jared couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but he was an enthusiastic listener.

"Sounds good." Jared felt a wave of gratitude for the little friend group he'd fallen into by moving to Austin. It made him miss his Boston friends less. It made him miss Jeff less. Too bad Jensen had turned out to be— "Hey, you remember Jensen Ackles?"

Sterling nodded. "I remember he had a sweet ride. A vintage Chevy. I was so jealous of that thing."

"Well, he's still into cars. Has his own restoration shop." Jared didn't know why he was talking about Jensen. He should have left him in the past.

"Nice."

"We had breakfast on Friday."

"Okay."

"He was a dick when he found out I'm gay."

"Motherfucker."

"I just didn't expect it—kind of threw me."

"Some of those good-old-boys we went to high school with can't see outside of their own tiny lives. Maybe he never met anyone gay before. Not that that's an excuse to be a dick."

"Yeah, maybe that's it." Jensen had lived in Austin for years, though. He'd traveled, his sister Mackenzie was in school in Los Angeles. It's not like he'd never been exposed to the wider culture. "Whatever. I should get over it."

"Well, I won't get my future dream car restored at his shop," Sterling said loyally. "Especially since I just remembered he went to prom with Tamra Robinson and I was crushing on her so hard. Still stings."

Jared laughed. He'd forgotten all about that drama. Jensen never had trouble getting girls to agree to go to the school dances with him. Jared sighed. He supposed Jensen was just another small-minded straight dude and Jared needed to move on.


	4. Chapter 4

"So you had the opportunity to tell him, but you decided not to. Why do you think you did that?" Maria's voice was even and judgement-free. Jensen squirmed anyway.

"Uh, well, I was caught off-guard, I guess?" Jensen slumped. He'd been beating himself up for his misstep on Friday ever since, and he'd launched right into it at his weekly Wednesday late-afternoon session with Maria.

Maria looked at him calmly. "You didn't think he would tell you he was gay?"

"I didn't know he was gay!"

"You've come out to people you knew weren't straight before. That's always seemed to make it a little smoother for you. Is there something different about Jared?"

Jensen let out a huff. "What's not different about him? He's about a million feet tall, and really into saving the world, one turtle at a time, apparently. He's really nerdy, but in a cool way, and he's got this little mole that's almost cute enough to distract you from his dimples and—"

Maria was smiling like she knew something Jensen didn't. 

"What?" he said suspiciously.

"Sounds like someone you'd like to get to know better," she said mildly. "Maybe someone you could see yourself dating."

"He doesn't want to date me," Jensen said. "He doesn't even know I'm—" He stopped. Glared at Maria. "You think I sabotaged my chances with him by not telling him I'm gay too so that I could avoid facing the idea that I might…that he might…that we might...get together?"

Maria slow clapped. "Four years of therapy and my work here is done."

Jensen rolled his eyes. Yes, Maria had basically, literally, saved his life, along with Dani, so he guessed she had a right to a little snarkiness, but he reserved the right to snark back.

"So what should I do?" he asked, knowing full well she wasn't going to actually tell him.

"If you could do it again, what would you do differently?"

Jensen thought back. He'd clearly hurt Jared with his inane response to Jared's being open with him. He regretted that more than anything. He didn't really deserve for Jared to give him a second chance to explain himself, let alone consider hanging out again, as friends or anything else. But he'd like to make that one thing right, anyway.

"I need to apologize to him."

"Can you ask him for the opportunity to do that?"

Jared might be pissed at him, but he seemed like a guy who'd give Jensen a minute to explain if he asked.

"I think so."

"Well, that's a good place to start. And if he's as cool as you say, maybe you can give the whole coming out thing another try."

Jensen frowned. "I don't want to make it all about me."

"Friendship is a two-lane street. If he can move on from this, so can you, and you can't be friends if you aren't honest with him. Not to mention, you having more queer friends wouldn't be a bad thing."

"Friends." Jensen considered it. Just because Jared was basically the epitome of everything Jensen thought made a guy hot didn't mean he couldn't ignore that and be his friend. "Okay." 

Maria glanced at her phone. "That's time for today. We'll talk next week and you can let me know how it goes with Jared."

Jensen smiled. He knew she was giving him homework, but he was used it it by now. He stood to go, but stopped to give her a hug. She whispered softly into his ear. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

He squeezed her back, hard. "See you next week."

Maria's office was a few blocks from his place. He'd pick up something for dinner at the deli in between and settle in for a night of pastrami and _Project Runway_ — _Jay Leno's Garage_ if anyone asked. He walked slowly, feeling a little better about the Jared thing, and profoundly grateful to have Maria in his life. While he was thinking about it, he stopped to text Dani. She'd recently moved to Dallas to take a better job, and he missed her like crazy.

He and Dani had dated for a couple of months junior year of college before she told him she thought they were better as friends. Somehow, she became his best friend. The year after graduation he was working full-time at the restoration shop he'd apprenticed at all through college, half-heartedly dating a string of girls who seemed perfect on paper, and he'd never been unhappier. When he realized he was seriously contemplating suicide, he'd gone to Dani, certain there was something profoundly wrong with him, but unable to articulate what it was. 

Dani helped him set up that first appointment with Maria. He'd come back from their meeting, pale and shaking, and said, "I think I'm gay," certain she was going to laugh or leave or both. She'd held him and hadn't told him that she'd been pretty sure he was gay from the first, and only, time they had sex. She saved that little bombshell for later, when he'd gone from seeing Maria three times a week to just once, long past his suicidal thoughts, after he quit drinking, because the alcohol messed with his antidepressants and didn't make him feel all that great anyway. They could laugh about it now, about how far Jensen had been stuck in the closet, but it hadn't been funny when he'd been first coming to realize this essential truth about himself.

He held open the door of the deli as a diminutive black-haired woman came out, and smiled when he recognized her, happy to get pulled back into the present. "Gen!"

"Jen!" she replied with a saucy smile. "How the hell are you?"

"Can't complain. Let me help." Gen's arms were full of canvas bags overflowing with food and she shifted one to him gratefully.

"I've got to get all this back to my place," Gen said. "It must be fate that I ran into you. You can carry a bag and I can repay you with homemade pizza!"

Jensen hesitated. Homemade pizza sounded good, but he was feeling a little raw after his session with Maria. "Thanks, but—"

"You have to come! It's my birthday! I'm having a few friends over. You have to, Jensen, you just have to." Gen made her wide brown eyes somehow wider as she implored him to join her and Jensen felt himself weaken.

"Well, I guess I can't say no to the birthday girl. You sure you have enough?" He glanced into the bag. There appeared to be pounds of mozzarella and cured meats and a bottle of olive oil.

"More than. Come on." She started walking west, away from Jensen's place, but he knew she didn't live far. He shrugged and fell into step beside her. Maria would be proud of him—Gen was one of the few queer people he could call a friend, and here he was, joining her for a spontaneous pizza-birthday-party.

The two of them chatted on the walk to Gen's apartment that she shared with another member of her band above a consignment shop. Gen told him about their latest tour—ten college towns in five weeks—and Jensen told her about the job he'd just booked that day—a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda.

"It'll probably take months, but the owner said she's not in a big hurry, so that's a plus," he said as Gen pushed open the door to her apartment. 

"That's so awesome, Jen. Oh good, they're working on the dough." He paused just inside the entry as Gen walked ahead. The open floor plan made it easy to see there were several people gathered around the bar separating the kitchen from the living area, wrists deep in pizza dough.

"I brought toppings and a hot guy," she said cheerfully. "Jensen, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Jensen."

Four pairs of eyes stared at them. Jensen only registered one of them—narrowed and unmistakable in that he would never be able to name all the colors contained in them. Eyes belonging to Jared Padalecki.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I stole Dean's car and gave it to Jensen.

Jared's first thought upon seeing Jensen arrive on Gen's heels was _not fair_.

It wasn't fair that after six days of trying to put Jensen out of his mind, the man himself showed up again out of nowhere. It wasn't fair that Gen, who as far as Jared knew was a decent judge of character, would introduce him casually, as if he'd easily fit in with the group that Jared had started to feel at home with. And it really wasn't fair that he looked so damn good. 

Jensen was dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt, and heavy work boots. The shirt clung to him in all the right places and a couple days of stubble accentuated his cheekbones and framed his too-good-to-be-true lips. Jared closed his eyes against the sight. _Not fair._

When he opened them again, Jensen was unlacing his boots and kicking them off and Megalyn was saying, "Hi, Jensen. How were those peaches?" Right, Megalyn had run into him at the farmer's market a couple weeks back. Everyone told him Austin felt like a small town, and apparently they were right.

"Peaches, yeah, they were ripe," Jensen said, following Gen into the kitchen. Jared registered Jensen's slightly taken aback look. It sounded like Gen had dragged him up partly against his will, as she started unpacking her voluminous totes full of food and explaining how Jensen came to crash their little party.

"…there's plenty of beer," Gen was saying. "You remember Sterling, from Central High? And obviously you know Megalyn. This is my roommate and the best drummer in Texas, Katie C." The blonde gave a little wave and smiled at Jensen appreciatively. "And Jared, also a Central alum." Gen cocked her head. "Did you guys know each other back then?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jensen said. He gave Jared a little nod. 

Jared resisted the urge to nod back. "Our sisters are really good friends," he added. He wasn't going to be rude, but after breaking the Jensen encounter down with Sterling, Jared had decided to forget the whole thing. After all, what were the chances of him running into Jensen again in a city of nearly a million people?

Hah.

"Oh! How is Megan?" Gen asked, oblivious to any awkwardness, and seeming to forget about her question as soon as she'd asked it, turning right back to Jensen. "Jared just moved here from Boston."

"I know," Jensen said. "We caught up last week."

"You did?" Gen glanced between the two of them. "I didn't know that."

"You just got back in town," Jared reminded her.

Gen relaxed with the third degree in favor of getting the pizzas in the oven. She redistributed everyone's efforts—setting Katie and Megalyn on making a salad and telling Sterling to play bartender. "Jared, Jensen, you guys can top the pizzas. You aren't allergic to anything are you?"

Jared wasn't sure which one of them she was asking, but he shook his head no, and Jensen did, too. Jared grated the mozzarella while Jensen sliced up some salumi. They worked in silence for a while, until Sterling came around asking for drink orders.

"Jared, you want a beer?" Sterling's voice was normal but his eyes were darting between Jensen and Jared like he was trying to communicate telepathically. Jared appreciated the gesture, but it wasn't like he couldn't be civil.

"Sure, man, thanks."

"Jensen?"

"Oh, no thanks. I'll just have water or a soda or something."

"School night?" Sterling asked with a bit of an edge to his voice.

Jensen hesitated. He seemed kind of…shy? Jared remembered him as outgoing in high school, but maybe that had been teenage bravado. "No, I'm sober, actually."

Jared wondered if there was a particular reason for that. It hadn't come up at the breakfast the other day. Sterling just shrugged and went to the fridge, returning with an IPA for Jared and a Coke for Jensen.

"Thanks. So you live in Austin, too?" Jensen asked Sterling. "It's like a Central High reunion in here."

"Yeah, moved here after college. Gen and Megalyn were here already, they helped me settle in. Now we're doing the same with my boy Jared." Sterling clasped a hand to Jared's shoulder. He might have been laying it on a little thick, but Jared appreciated the gesture. "Heard you were into classic cars?"

"Yeah, car restoration," Jensen scattered meat over the pizza Jared had just covered in cheese. "American muscle, primarily."

"What do you drive yourself?" Sterling asked.

"1967 Chevy Impala. Totally stock. She's my baby," Jensen said with a hint of pride. He sounded more sure of himself talking about work than any other subject.

Sterling's eyes lit up and the frost left his voice. "No way. I love those old Chevys. That's not the one you drove at Central, though, right?"

"Nah, that was a Chevelle. It was rusting in my uncle's backyard and I fixed it up good enough to run. That was my first taste of making an old car new again. I was hooked."

"Chevelle!" Sterling crowed. "I thought that was it. That was a sweet ride."

Jared tuned them out as they started a detailed conversation about seventies Chevys, a topic about which Jared knew nothing. It was nice to see Jensen relaxing, though. They worked in tandem, filling up pizza after pizza, Gen sliding one after the other into the oven, until the apartment was soon fragrant with the scent of browning crust and melting cheese and felt hot as the inside of an oven, too.

"You should come by the shop sometime," Jensen was saying to Sterling when they handed the last pizza over to Gen, and Sterling was enthusiastically agreeing, only looking slightly sheepish when Jared shot him a look. What happened to solidarity?

It was all good. Jensen wasn't a bad guy. So what if Jared's sexuality seemed to make him uncomfortable? Jared wasn't the kind of person who thought he could control everything. Maybe Sterling was right and Jensen just hadn't met many gay people before. He seemed to be fine around Gen, who was wearing bi-flag earrings and literally had the Indigo Girls playing on her speaker system right at that moment.

So when Jensen found him escaping the heat of the apartment on Gen's balcony, half-drunk beer in hand, a few minutes later, Jared didn't try to avoid him.

"Hey," he said, instead. "How were your parents?"

Jensen looked surprised for a second. "They were fine. My dad roped me into mowing the lawn. Mom sent me home with a batch of peanut butter cookies. The usual."

"Sounds pretty nice."

"It was."

Jared looked down at the street instead of at Jensen.

"So, I have to tell you something," Jensen said in a rush, as if he was nervous.

"Go for it," Jared said lightly.

"I'm sorry about Friday. About how I kind of—froze up when you told me about your ex and—" Jensen paused, and Jared sighed. So Jensen felt bad about it. But not so bad he couldn't get through an apology. But then Jensen went on. "—being gay. I have my own shit that I'm dealing with, but that's no excuse for how I acted. I was an ass, and I'm sorry."

As apologies went, it wasn't bad. Jared was kind of impressed. "Oh. Well. Okay. Apology accepted."

"Really?" Jensen sounded like he didn't think it was going to be that easy.

Jared let himself smile for the first time since Jensen had walked into Gen's apartment. "Really. It's fine. It actually means a lot that you would say something. Not many people would."

"Well, I mean it." 

"I know you do." Jensen met his gaze, finally, and they shared a smile. Jared felt his mood lighten. Maybe his first impression of Jensen wasn't wrong. Maybe they could be friends after all.

"There's something else." Jensen's voice was rough, and he cleared his throat.

Jared waited, but Jensen never finished. Gen's voice carried from inside out to the balcony. "Jay, Jen, get in here. Pizza's up."

Jensen glanced inside uncertainly, but in the end he shrugged. "It'll keep."

Jared followed him in, ignoring the sexy way he walked, rolling along on bowlegs like a cowboy. They may be on better terms, but Jensen was still not someone Jared could hit on, and he needed to remember that.


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen was grateful that Gen was so talkative. It meant that he could just eat and listen to the conversations swirling around him without having to contribute much. Once he'd got past the initial awkwardness around Jared, and Jared had accepted his apology with an easy smile, Jensen actually started having fun. Sterling was interesting, and Jensen didn't mind having someone to talk about cars with. Megalyn and Katie were friendly and easy-going. And Jared was—well, Jared was kinda perfect.

He was warm and generous and helpful. He'd given Jensen a chance to explain himself and accepted his apology with grace. He really seemed to care about his friends—asking questions about the musical Megalyn's drama class was producing that semester, fascinated by Katie's explanation of how they were making their upcoming tour carbon-neutral, and making plans with Sterling to go running that weekend.

Clearly, Jared did more than just run for exercise. From Jensen's perch on the edge of the couch, he had a great view of Jared's arms, encased in a tight-fitting blue shirt, his forearms tanned and intriguingly veined. Jensen swallowed against a spurt of saliva on his tongue. He was heroically not envisioning what other parts of Jared might be veiny and lickable. 

Eventually the pizza was consumed, and everyone but Jensen was on their third or fourth beer. A breeze came in off the balcony, cooling down the apartment now that the oven was off. Night had fallen and Jensen hadn't even realized how late it had gotten. He glanced at his phone, wondering if he should excuse himself, discovering he didn't really want to. Then Katie brought out a cake lit as bright as day with about a million candles, and Jensen forgot about leaving.

Gen looked happy, pausing to make a wish before blowing out the candles. "How does it feel to be 28?" Megalyn asked. "You know you're the first one of us."

"It's fabulous so far. And I know what I want to do to celebrate," she said, standing up and heading to the corner of the room, where her bass stood up in a stand. "And y'all are going to help me."

Apparently they all knew what she was talking about, because Megalyn clapped and Katie groaned. "It's my day off," she said, but she stood up, too, and went for her drumsticks and started assembling pieces of a small drum kit. Sterling rubbed his hands together, went over to a black zippered bag and pulled out a portable keyboard.

"You guys going to jam?" Jensen asked, not hiding the interest in his voice.

"I've got a decent Gibson you can borrow," Gen said.

Jensen bit his lip. He found himself glancing at Jared, who was looking on with delight. "You play anything?"

"Definitely not," Jared said firmly.

"You can sing," Megalyn said. "Remember _Guys 'n Dolls_?"

"I was just copying Frank Sinatra. You know I can't actually sing." Jared's cheeks were pinking up. "You play guitar?" This to Jensen, who found himself nodding.

"Awesome." Gen thrust the Gibson in Jensen's face, and he laughed, taking it over to settle on the couch next to Jared and tuning it. He hadn't played regularly since Dani moved away—they used to mess around on the weekend sometimes, and even though this one felt a little different than his own, it felt good to strum and make the strings sing under his fingers.

With Katie on drums, Gen on bass, Jensen on guitar, Sterling on keyboards, and Megalyn not afraid to wail, they made a pretty decent band. Gen was in the lead, walking them through "Brown Eyed Girl," and then, when Jensen admitted he knew everything from _Songs in the Key of Life_ , they switched to Stevie Wonder for a while. Jared, true to his word, didn't join in, but he clapped and whooped and hollered at the end of every song.

"You ever thought about joining an all-girls alt-rock band?" Katie asked him after a few songs.

"You'd bring in a whole new type of crowd," Gen said, laughing. 

"I'm good," Jensen said, feeling the blush rise on his cheeks.

"I've got to pee," Katie said, escaping down the hall. "Take five."

Jensen started noodling around with a melody he'd been learning with Dani.

"Hozier?" Gen asked and he nodded. "Let's hear it, then."

"You know I don't know anything after 1985," Sterling said.

"Let Jensen solo," Gen said, and a hush fell over the room. Jensen looked around, and nearly set the guitar down at suddenly being the center of attention. But then his gaze fell on Jared, looking at right at him, his face curious and open, his eyes imploring.

"Please play for us," Jared said and Jensen melted. He didn't say anything, just launched into "Take Me to Church." His singing voice felt rusty, but the gravel suited the song. He closed his eyes, feeling the longing and the supplication of the words as he strummed the melody and sang.

When the last note was finished he opened his eyes. Jared was still watching him, frozen as if he hadn't moved a muscle the entire time Jensen was playing. He vaguely registered the claps and cheers of the rest of the group—Gen's praise and Katie's cat call and Sterling's applause. But he didn't want to look away from Jared, from the expression on his face. He looked stunned, and not just by the fact that Jensen could sing as well as play guitar. Jensen swayed a little, wanting to get closer, wanting to ask Jared what had him so surprised.

But then Jared blinked and turned away and the moment was over. Jensen might have imagined the zing of energy that had seemed to hum between them. Sterling launched into a jazzy rendition of "Happy Birthday" and the focus was back on Gen. Jared got up and started clearing the cake plates to the kitchen. And before long, everyone was pleading early mornings and pitching in to clean up, putting away the instruments, and saying goodbyes.

"Thanks for including me," Jensen said to Gen, bending down to kiss her on the cheek.

"Thanks for being included," Gen said. "And I'm really glad you're getting to be friends with Jared. He's been a little lonely since moving here."

"Lonely? With you all around?"

"I mean he hasn't been dating. Maybe you could help him out with that," she said, mouth curving into a sly smile.

Jensen couldn't help looking over to where Jared was gathering empties for the recycle bin. He'd managed to repair the damage from their first meeting, but they were a long way from anything like a date.

"I don't think so."

Gen pouted. "Why not? I think you'd be so good together."

"It's complicated."

"Can I help?"

Jensen imagined Gen trying to set them up and shivered. "No, please. We're working on friends. It's cool."

Gen looked disappointed but she nodded. "Okay. Well, when I get back from the next tour I want to hear all about what great friends you are and how you hung out all the time without me."

Jensen smiled. It felt good to be one of Gen's projects, even if she slightly terrified him. "I'll do my best."

"Jared, come say bye to Jensen," Gen ordered and Jensen tensed up as Jared sauntered over obediently.

"Bye, Jensen," Jared said. Damn, Jensen loved the way Jared said his name.

"Bye," he said, holding eye contact. Jared looked away first. "Let's grab coffee again soon."

"Or ribs," Jared said, calling back to their first meeting. Jensen figured it was his way of saying things were cool between them.

"Or ribs," Jensen agreed. "Sounds good."

He walked home, whistling "Take Me To Church" under his breath the whole way. That night he dreamed of kaleidoscope eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Jared couldn't stop thinking about Jensen. It was getting to be a problem, actually. He was out of it at work the rest of the week and told himself he had to get it together over the weekend or go insane. 

He'd made it through the first half of Gen's party fine—he'd accepted Jensen's apology, he'd felt like they were getting to a place where they could be friends. He kind of got the feeling that Jensen could use another friend. Jared was happy to expand his Austin circle, too.

Then Gen had to go and hand Jensen a guitar and Jared hadn't had the presence of mind to realize how much trouble he was in until it was much too late. The sight of Jensen with a guitar on his lap, his strong, thick fingers wrapped almost delicately in contrast around the instrument's neck was enough to make Jared's brain go haywire. Listening to the sound he seemingly effortlessly evoked from the guitar made Jared's heart beat a little faster and sweat break out on the back of his neck. 

But Jensen _singing_. That had gone straight to Jared's cock. It would have taken a stronger man than him not to be affected by Jensen's singing voice, smoother and twangier than his speaking voice, and just as sexy. And the _song_. Jared shuddered every time he thought about it, the sense memory seared onto his cells. He'd never forget the way Jensen's mouth formed around the vowels of every "amen" and the emotion that ripped from his chest as he sang about worshiping at the alter of sex.

Holy fuck.

It had taken every ounce of Jared's self control to make it through the rest of the night, to go through the motions of helping Gen clean up from the party and act like everything was normal.

Gen seemed to pick up on his strange mood. After Jensen had left and Jared was still puttering around trying to get his head together for his bike ride home, she had said, "You and Jensen would be so pretty together."

The comment had been completely inappropriate and way too close to Jared's own thoughts. He'd just forced a laugh and said, "Yeah, I don't think so."

She'd just squinted at him funny and said, "What, he's not hot enough for you? You working on a time machine so you can go back and date Fight Club era Brad Pitt?"

He'd rolled his eyes at her and left soon after. Girls were weird.

Gen was living in a fantasy land where Jensen wasn't straight. And maybe Jared was living there from time to time, now, too, when he couldn't get his libido under control. He'd been so desperate by Friday night to get his thoughts off Jensen's mouth and his shoulders and his _voice_ that he'd delved into online porn, hoping the sight of hotter guys than Jensen fucking each other's brains out would change the record in Jared's own fantasy life. 

The only problem was, there weren't any guys hotter than Jensen.

Jared spent a hour fruitlessly masturbating to dark-haired twinks before giving in and coming to the vision of Jensen on his knees sucking Jared's swollen red cock.

He'd felt guilty ever since. It was never going to work to be friends with Jensen if he was crushing on him this hard. Wait--his brain shied away from the word "crushing." He was a twenty-seven-year-old with a Ph.d.—he didn't _crush_ on people. Especially straight guys. It wasn't his style.

It just that a switch had been flipped somehow the night of Gen's party and it was like he couldn't turn it off. The proof of that appeared in form of Jensen himself. Jared had met Megalyn at the farmer's market Saturday morning. They both loaded up on organic produce and then she'd gone to meet her sister for lunch. Jared was contemplating getting some tacos from a food truck before he ambled home when he spotted a familiar blond head at the exit of the park where the market was set up. Jensen had a bag hanging from one arm and a hot redhead hanging from the other. 

Jared felt the flare of jealousy before he felt the guilt. By the time Jensen saw him and waved, Jared's emotions were a confusing mess and he had to force himself to greet Jensen's girl politely, which was so not like him at all.

"Jensen. Hey, man." He resisted the urge to greet Jensen with a hug. They weren't that kind of friends. Not yet.

Jensen was grinning. He looked happy, and more relaxed than Jared had ever seen him. Jared turned a sour look on the woman. She must have had something to do with Jensen's good mood. They'd probably been up the night before having creative, fulfilling, heterosexual intercourse. Blech.

"Jared, this is Danneel. Dani, this is Jared."

His name apparently meant something to Danneel, because her polite smile widened into something dazzling. "Jared, so nice to meet you." She leaned close, touching his shoulder with her hand, but leaving her other arm engaged with Jensen, as if staking her ownership of him.

"Dani's just in town for the weekend. We were about to have lunch." Jensen glanced at Dani, who nodded. "You wanna join us?"

Great. They knew each other well enough to communicate nonverbally. Jared didn't know if he could stomach watching them all over each other for the entirety of a meal. "Um, I don't think I can."

"Oh, please do. We're going to my favorite Mexican place. I still haven't found the perfect taco in Dallas. You won't be sorry!" Dani seemed to genuinely want him to join them. And tacos did sound good.

Jared finally agreed when Jensen added, "Come on, you can recruit Dani to your save-the-turtles mission. She's a sucker for animals." It wasn't what he said, it was how he said it, kind of low and intimate, but not toward Dani, but to Jared, as if his bleeding-heart turtle mania was something Jensen thought was appealing about him.

Jared shook his head to clear it, and Jensen's face clouded in disappointment. Jared struggled to form actual words. "Yeah. Yes. Sure. Let's go."

If he'd had any doubt about his decision, it would have been gone when Jensen lit up like a Christmas tree. 

"Awesome! The restaurant's a few miles from here. You got a car nearby?"

"No, I walked."

"No problem, we'll take my baby." Jensen lead them toward the street.

"Have you ridden in Jensen's baby, Jared?" Dani asked with a quirk of her eyebrows.

"Nope."

She laughed. "You are in for a treat."

When Jared saw the gleaming black muscle car he could only imagine what kind of a gas-guzzler it was, but it suited Jensen, the way the plain black t-shirt he was wearing suited him. He smiled faintly as Jensen opened the rear passenger door, then surveyed Jared's frame as if sizing him up for a rented tuxedo.

"Dani—I think you're going to have to sit in the back," Jensen said.

"Fine. But you're buying lunch." She slid into the backseat elegantly. Jensen grabbed Jared's market purchases and stowed them on the seat next to her. Then he opened the front passenger door, holding it for Jared to climb in. He felt slightly awkward--as if he was on a date with a chaperone in the back seat. But he saw what Jensen meant once the man was behind the wheel of the car. Jared's legs barely fit under the dash, even with the seat racked as far back as it would go to accommodate Jensen's not exactly short legs.

Jensen flipped a pair of sunglasses down from the sun visor, completing his casually gorgeous look. He turned the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. It vibrated and growled and Jensen handled her like she was an extension of himself as they wove in and out of traffic, heading for a different part of town. It was almost too loud to talk, but Dani kept up a stream of conversation anyway, chattering about friends of theirs and how she liked some things about her new job in Dallas and hated others.

"And the dating pool so far sucks, but it's only been a few months, so maybe I haven't been looking in the right places."

Jared whipped his head around at that. Dani was single? The fact that she and Jensen weren't in some kind of long-distance thing gave him a certain sense of relief. Although, he supposed they could be friends with benefits and still shack up when they visited each other. He shook his head again. That was seriously none of his business, and Dani was growing on him against his will anyway.

"You're new to Austin, right, Jared?"

He hummed in agreement.

"What do you think? Single life better here or…where did Jen say you moved from? Boston?"

Jared felt a jolt of…something…at the idea of Jensen talking about him with Dani at all. "Um, I kind of had a long-term boyfriend in Boston, so I didn't really get into the singles scene. Probably why I've been pretty slow to get into it here, too. Out of practice."

"Well, Jensen could help," she said, her voice sparkling with mischief. "Couldn't you, Jen?"

"We're here," Jensen said, pulling up short into a small parking lot next to the restaurant and shutting off the Chevy's engine.

Jared didn't know what Dani meant by all that, but he apparently wasn't going to find out. Jensen stalked toward the entrance to the restaurant and left the two of them to catch up.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, Jensen tells me you guys went to high school together," Dani said once the server had collected their order and brought three iced teas. 

Jensen relaxed a bit. High school was a safe enough subject, wasn't it? He really shouldn't have told Dani about Jared at all, except he'd been so flustered from Gen's party that he'd needed a head check. He'd called Dani on Thursday and lamented the fact that he'd nearly ruined a possible friendship with Jared, and he was certain he'd never actually be able to ask him out. She'd been supportive, and promised to drive up for the weekend to keep him company and his mind off cute, tall, dimple-laden boys. Running into Jared and asking him to join them for lunch hadn't been part of the plan, but somehow it seemed easier to hang out with Jared when there was someone to play interference. Even if that someone was slightly too invested in his love life.

"We did. Central High." Jared sipped his iced tea and Jensen pretended not to notice how his lips pursed around the straw. 

"What was Jensen like? I didn't meet him until he was an old man of, what, 20?" Dani teased.

Jared didn't answer right away, glancing at Jensen and tipping his head to the side as if that would help him remember. "Jensen was really nice. I know it sounds lame, but that's what I remember the most about him in high school."

Dani wrinkled her nose. "Nice? I was hoping for way better dirt than that."

"We weren't really in the same friend group," Jared said. 

Jensen thought about protesting, but then he realized Jared was right. Their paths crossed frequently, but at lunch, Jensen sat with the jocks and Jared sat with the theater kids, like Megalyn. Looking back, maybe he'd have been happier with the theater kids.

"But when I say nice, I mean, like he was really well liked, popular, kind of an all-around favorite, but he didn't use his popularity to put anyone down. He was just…nice. I think in high school that says a lot about a person."

Jensen glanced up at Jared, surprised he'd say something like that about him. "Well, high school's rough for everyone. I know I had that going for me—that people seemed to like me—but I knew that what people are like on the outside doesn't always match what they feel like on the inside. I didn't want to give anyone another reason to have a shitty day."

Dani looked between the two of them. "So you guys didn't play on the same sports team or have classes together or anything?"

"Junior year pre-calculus," Jared said. "And senior year economics." Then he blushed a little. Jensen found himself smiling. He probably could have dredged that information up from somewhere in his brain, but Jared seemed to have it at the ready. Huh.

"I know you said you don't sing, but you were really good as Nathan Detroit," he said. He turned to Dani to clarify. " _Guys 'n Dolls_ was the senior year musical."

"You saw that?" Jared pinked up even more. "I think I only got the part because I was tall enough to fit into the costume."

"No, man, you were actually really good. Megalyn was amazing as the do-gooder, what's her name—Sarah? And Nina DeLuca as the showgirl you're in love with, she was great, too."

"Adelaide. Yeah, she tried out for _American Idol_ that year, I think."

"You had to kiss her, right?" Jensen suddenly remembered Jared and Nina locking lips on the stage in the auditorium. He wondered how Jared would taste in real life, then pushed the thought away as fast as he could.

"A stage kiss," Jared said. "Not a real kiss."

"What's a stage kiss?" Jensen said. Not that he couldn't figure it out. But he liked hearing Jared say "kiss." He could torture himself thinking about it later.

"We sort of turned away from the audience, so they couldn't see that we weren't actually touching lips. She grabbed my ass on opening night and it got such a big laugh, the director told her to make it part of the show." Jared winced. "My seventeen-year-old self was traumatized."

"But your lips didn't even touch?" Jensen asked, unable to stop himself.

"No…they just kind of hovered." Jared was looking at Jensen as he spoke, or was he looking at Jensen's lips. Jensen licked them involuntarily. Yeah, Jared was definitely looking at his lips.

"So that wasn't your first kiss," Dani said. Jensen turned his head to frown at her. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

"No," Jared laughed. "Nina DeLuca wasn't my first kiss."

"Who was?" Jensen asked impulsively.

"What?" Jared looked pink again. God, he was cute. He suddenly wished Dani was gone and it was just the two of them having lunch and he could lean across the table and stroke Jared's cheek to see if it got warmer when he blushed.

"Mine was April Santos," he said. "Freshman homecoming. What about you, Dani?"

"You know," she said. "But since Jared doesn't, I'll tell you again. Dave Drucker, camp, age twelve. Way too much tongue." She made a face. "Okay, now you, Jared."

Jared shrugged, as if accepting his fate to be interrogated. "Well, I was a freshman, too, but in college. I was kind of a late bloomer. Noah Silver. And he used the exact right amount of tongue." His smile was a little wicked and Dani clapped in appreciation while Jensen felt that smile kindle a fire in his gut.

He imagined the lanky boy he'd known in high school, away at college for the first time, kissing some faceless boy on a dorm room bed or maybe in a dark corner at a party and was hit with a wave of longing. College hadn't been a time of self-discovery for him. He'd buried himself under even more layers of repression and denial and guilt, until he was suffocating.

He must have spaced out of the conversation for a second, because their food had been set down in front of them and Dani was mid-sentence when he tuned back in.

"…late bloomer's a good thing, you know? Gives you time to figure out what you want. I wish I hadn't been so, um, aggressive, in high school," she was saying.

"Aggressive another word for slutty?" he teased, trying to get out of his mood.

She just laughed, but Jared looked a bit thin-lipped. He probably thought Jensen was slut-shaming her, but he wasn't. "Honestly, Dani knows for every guy she kissed behind the bleachers I've got five bad decisions to my name."

"Jensen's right, Jared. It's cool. But my point is that if I'd given myself time to grow up a little, I'd have fewer regrets. Maybe I wouldn't have thought that we were such a brilliant match," she said, tossing her head at Jensen.

"You two…?" Jared trailed off. Jensen couldn't help a glare at Dani. How was talking about their two-minute-long relationship going to help anything?

"We dated for a little bit in college, before I came to my senses," Dani said, biting into a taco. 

"Thanks," Jensen said dryly, because it was an old routine.

"But you stayed friends," Jared said, unconvinced. He pushed his food around on his plate without taking a bite.

"Much better that way," Dani said, nodding her head vigorously. "I'm not Jensen's type."

Jared looked suitably skeptical at that. Dani, with her graceful arms, her soft hair, and her long, lean body, were most people's type.

"It's true," Jensen said, hoping Jared would read between the lines. "I tried wishing the she was, but it didn't take."

Jared just frowned, and then a phone buzzed from his side of the table. He pulled it out. "It's my mom. I'll just step outside and tell her I'll call her back."

Jensen watched him walk out of the restaurant. The jeans he wore hugged his ass and his blue t-shirt skimmed his waist. Jensen imagined the skin underneath would be smooth and the muscles hard. He wanted to touch, so bad.

"Okay, so I'm not sure I needed to make this emergency trip after all, except to give you a kick in the ass," Dani said once Jared was outside.

"What?"

"That boy is totally into you. Put him out of his misery and ask him out already."

Jensen laughed uncomfortably. "Really? You think?" Asking Jared out would be—ugh. He couldn't do it. He wasn't ready for the dream of being with someone like Jared to die after he politely, kindly, turned him down.

"I think, I know, I see it with my own two eyes. He thinks you're sex on legs, obviously, and he thinks you're _nice_ , and he's jealous as fuck of me, so yeah. Go for it. You know he's not going to be single much longer once the Austin gays get wind of him with that hair and that face and that body."

Jensen's gut lurched at the thought of Jared meeting someone else, at having to watch him happy with someone else while he was just Jared's friend.

"Oh god. I don't think I—" he wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his thighs. "How do I—"

Dani's expression softened and she wrapped a hand around his arm, steadying his nerves. "Babe, you can do this. You just have to be honest with him. It's going to be okay. If he says no, at least you tried, right?"

"You think he's going to say no?"

"I think if you give him the opening, he's going to run with it all the way to the end zone. He wants you, Jensen. Most people do. But he also likes you." Dani smiled then, soft and genuine. "And I like him. And when it comes to you, my standards are way higher than when it comes to myself."

Jensen's heart stuttered a little bit. He was so lucky to have her in his corner. He trusted her. And she'd never steered him wrong.

He nodded, once, and she grinned. "That's my boy. So, you want me to get lost so you guys can talk?"

Jensen bit his lip in indecision. He liked Jared, and he knew that if Dani saw something between them, then he couldn't let this chance slip by. But doing it now? 

Jensen looked up to see Jared push open the restaurant door, slipping his cell phone into his pocket. His gaze locked on to Jensen's and they looked at each other as Jared slowly walked to their table. Jensen got a flash of what it would be like for Jared and him to be at lunch together if they were dating. Jared would lean down and kiss Jensen hello and their legs would tangle under the table and they'd eat off each others' plates and after they'd go for a drive, Jared in the passenger seat of the Chevy, the Texas sun warming his golden skin through the open window. Jensen could have that, maybe, if he was brave enough.

"Dani just got a call from work," he said, before he could overthink it. "She's gotta go take care of some stuff."

Dani's smile was way too happy for someone who had supposedly had their weekend interrupted by work. "Yes! I have to go. Right now. I'll just get this wrapped up. See you later?"

"Yeah, I'll text you," Jensen said. He was still basically staring at Jared, who was looking at him, not at Dani as she gathered her purse and threw some money on the table and picked up her plate, too.

"Nice to meet you, Jared. I'll see you soon, I'm sure." Dani winked, then disappeared before Jared could even respond.

"So. Dani had to go," Jensen said. Had no idea what to say, he just knew he had to say something. "And I have something I wanted to ask you."


	9. Chapter 9

"What's up?" Jared barely registered Dani as she left—it felt like when Jensen was around, he took up all of Jared's bandwidth. He was attuned to his mood, to how he walked, to what kind of tacos he liked, to what he said—and what he didn't say. If they were going to be friends, Jared really needed to get over this borderline-stalker habit he was developing, or things could get weird.

Right now Jensen was just looking at Jared, his mouth open, but nothing coming out. "Everything okay, Jensen?"

"Yes. No. I mean, I don't know." Jensen smiled a little at his words, and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it a little spiky on top. He cleared his throat and went on. "So, there's a car show in Round Rock next weekend. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. It's fun, bunch of classics, some rare stuff—sometimes they have live music. There's actually a pretty good karaoke bar over there, if you wanted to get dinner after. I promise I won't make you sing." Jensen stopped abruptly.

Jared tried to think clearly. Jensen was attempting to be friends, and he really appreciated the gesture. But it was getting harder and harder to imagine being friends with someone he wanted so inappropriately and so—if he was being honest with himself—desperately. He was about to come up with an excuse not to spend the day with Jensen and a bunch of classic cars, but Jensen started up again. "Maybe that doesn't sound like fun to you. We could do something you like—um, hiking? We could go to the aquarium, see if they have any turtles." He paused again, and Jared opened his mouth, but was cut off before he could respond. "Or it could even be simpler. Dinner."

"Dinner?" That didn't track. Why would Jensen propose dinner, or going to the aquarium? Those were the kinds of things you did on a…

"There's a new ribs place I've been wanting to try." Jensen's voice was soft, and Jared didn't know what he was supposed to do, what he was supposed to say. Maybe he should just be straight with Jensen, for lack of a better word, and tell him that he wasn't sure being friends was going to work out because he was starting to like him in a different, impossible way.

"Or whatever you like to do on a date," Jensen said. He was practically whispering, though his head was up and his gaze focused on Jared.

Jared wasn't sure he heard right. "A date?"

Jensen nodded. "If you might want to go out with me. Sometime."

"But you're straight."

"I never said that."

"But—" Jared flushed. If Jensen wasn't straight then he wasn't a pathetic loser with a crush on someone he could never have. If Jensen wasn't straight, Jared's increasingly vivid fantasies about the man might have an actual chance of coming true. If Jensen wasn't straight— "So what was all that about, that day over breakfast? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Jensen grimaced. "It's kind of complicated. Or not. Basically, you kissed a guy freshman year of college, you were probably out in college, too, right?"

Jared nodded. He'd come out to his friends a week after Noah Silver kissed him, and to his family a few months later at Thanksgiving break. It hadn't even come as a surprise to any of them. He'd known he was gay for years before that.

"But the first time I kissed a guy I was twenty three. I've only been out for three years, and I spent a very serious year before that in therapy before I was ready to do that. Dani helped a lot. She's really been a rock. And Maria—my therapist—she's always encouraging me to come out to people who knew me when I was that popular kid, because they didn't know the real me. They didn't know how unhappy I was, how confused. That's what I was going to do that morning we had coffee. I was going to see an old high school acquaintance and tell him I'm gay, the way I told Gen and every other random Central High alum who has the misfortune to cross my path."

"You're gay?" Jared had thought maybe bi, but Jensen said gay. "And Gen knows?"

"She didn't tell you? And yeah. I'm very gay. On the Kinsey scale, I'm a seven."

Jared smirked. It only went to six. "She didn't tell me. I wish she had. I wish you had. I wouldn't have spent all this time beating myself up for—"

Jensen licked his lips. That was just playing dirty. "For what?"

"For thinking you're hot. For wanting—"

"Wanting?" Jensen's voice was still low, but now there was a hint of gravel in it that made Jared's spine tingle.

"Fuck, Jensen, I want a lot of things. It's going to take some time for me to accept that maybe I can have some of them."

"I'm sorry," Jensen said. "I should have told you. I was going to—I wanted to."

"Why didn't you?"

"I got there and you weren't the lanky teenager I pictured every time Mackenzie mentioned something about Megan's older brother. You were all tall, and built, and stuff."

"And stuff?" Jared smiled, not above using his own secret weapon—dimples had worked for him before, maybe they'd work for him now.

"You know, handsome and sweet and your hands, Jesus, and yeah, I got flustered. I figured you'd never go out with me, so if I didn't tell you I was gay, I'd never have to risk it."

"But you changed your mind?"

"Well, Dani reminded me that just 'cause you're single now, doesn't mean you're going to stay single. I basically threw up in my mouth thinking about you with someone else."

"Yeah? Well, I hated Dani from the first second I saw her hanging on your arm."

"She's going to be so happy to hear you say that. Seriously. She said you were jealous."

"I was."

"Not anymore?"

"You're here with me now."

Jensen's face flushed lightly. "With you?"

"If you want. We can take it slow, though."

"Slow could be good." Jensen seemed to be looking at Jared's mouth. "Or it could be overrated."

"Maybe we should get the check."

Jensen opened his wallet and put some bills down on the table. "That oughta cover it. Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues Jared's POV.

"So, you wanna come back to my place?" Jensen asked. His voice was still low and kind of growly and Jared wondered exactly gravely he could make it get.

"Yeah, although my veggies are getting kind of wilted in the heat. I'm not far, if you want to see my digs."

"Okay, navigator."

Jared directed Jensen through the Saturday afternoon traffic, but besides that they didn't talk much. Jared was wondering just how far Jensen was prepared to go today, since there was a lot of ground to cover between slow and not. Jared was, admittedly, horny as hell for the man sitting next to him, but he wasn't exactly used to quick hook-ups. He and Jeff had been together for nearly five years. The sex had always been satisfying, but toward the end, had tapered off, as they both prepared to say their goodbyes.

What if Jensen thought this was just a friends with benefits thing? Or did he want more? Jared supposed they could have sex, ask question later, since his brain was muddled by the heat and his awareness of Jensen, sitting so close. They hadn't even kissed yet.

"You can park in my spot," Jared said, when they reached the small building where he lived, top floor of an old fifties office building that had been renovated as apartments not long ago. The ground floor housed a trendy tattoo parlor. There were four parking spots around the back and Jensen nosed the Chevy into the spot farthest from the street.

"Where's your car?" Jensen asked.

"Don't have one," Jared replied. "I can bike to work, take public transportation when I need it."

Jensen's mouth literally dropped open in surprise. "You don't drive?"

"I know how to drive," Jared said. "I have a drivers license if I need to rent a car or something. But in Boston there was no need, didn't have a car in college either. I like getting places under my own steam."

"But. But." Jensen sputtered. "Dude, cars are my life."

Jared smiled. "I like that you like cars."

"Really? But they pollute and you're all about saving the world and shit."

"You take something old, something that could just go in a junk heap to rot away over hundreds of years, and make it useful again. It's the best kind of recycling."

"Huh. I never thought of it that way." Jensen relaxed a little, then chuckled as he swung open the door and climbed out of the car. "I'm doing my part—keeping cars out of the junkyard. I like that. You could probably give me some tips on how to make my shop a little greener though, couldn't you?"

"If you want, sure," Jared said. He grabbed his bags from the back seat and led Jensen to the back entrance. They jogged the four flights up. Jared was used to it, but Jensen was a little winded by the time they got the top.

"And you're in better shape than me. Maybe I should start biking. Of course, I'd have to get a bike."

"We could get you a bike." Jared liked the idea of getting on the road early in the morning, no traffic, just him and Jensen, the world flying by around them, the wind in their face. He wasn't the kind of guy who needed his partner to be into all the same stuff as him, but it meant a lot that Jensen would want to try.

"But I draw the line at spandex shorts," Jensen said firmly as Jared unlocked the door.

Jared laughed. "Fair enough. No spandex. Too bad, though, your ass would look fantastic in bike shorts."

Jensen wrinkled his nose. "How do you know?"

Jared surveyed Jensen openly. "I'm finding it hard to imagine an article of clothing you couldn't make look good."

Jensen's cheeks got a little rosy. He was adorable. Jared froze at the thought. No matter how much he wanted to touch Jensen, to kiss him and see how close his fantasies came to reality, he actually liked this part more. Talking and joking, flirting and just…being together. The nice, unexpectedly-thoughtful kid Jared had known in high school had grown into a nice, unexpectedly-thoughtful man. Jensen hadn't had an easy time of it, but he'd made something of his life. Jared felt privileged to be invited in.

Suddenly, his gut twisted with something like nerves. He had a chance here, and he hoped to whoever was listening that he wouldn't screw it up. Right here, in the middle of his still temporary-feeling apartment, bags of produce at his feet, gorgeous, sensitive man in his living room, he felt as if he was getting a peek into his future. A future where he and Jensen spent every Saturday together, every night sleeping in the same bed, and every Christmas negotiating over which set of parents to spend Christmas morning with. Every year marking the anniversary of this day, the day of their first kiss. Today. 

Right now.

Jared swallowed. Oops. He'd accidentally burdened the moment under a lifetime's worth of high stakes. 

Jensen seemed to see something in his eyes. He came closer, concern in his eyes. "Hey, everything okay?" His concern changed into something else—fear? "You aren't sure about this, are you? It's okay, I can go—"

"No, it's not that." Jared swallowed back words that might make Jensen run, words about how this felt like the first day of the rest of their lives together. "It's just--I really like you, Jensen." His voice came out more intense than he'd intended. "And I feel like you should know—I've never really done casual when it comes to relationships."

"Oh." Jensen said. He shifted from foot to foot. "I've never really done serious."

Jared's heart dropped. "Oh." He thought for a second, about what he would give to have Jensen in his life, even if it wasn't forever. "That's okay, I'm not—I don't need—"

"But I'd like to try. With you." Jensen looked perfectly serious, and perfectly vulnerable, his eyes round and just the hint of a smile softening his face.

"You would?" Jared took in a shaky breath. "That's—that's good."

"I basically haven't stopped thinking about you since that first day. I tried to tell myself you weren't for me, but something about this…it just feels right."

"It does." Jared agreed, feeling the grin stretch his face wide. "It feels…"

"Like the beginning of something," Jensen said, a sense of wonder in his voice.

"A new beginning. I like those," Jared said. He laced his fingers together with Jensen's, linking them together. "I like you."

"I like you, too." Jensen looked from Jared's eyes to his mouth and back again. "I'd like to kiss you."

"Okay," Jared said, and they moved toward each other. It wasn't in slow motion, but Jared would always remember it that way, every centimeter between them giving way until there was nothing left between them and they were joined at lips and hands.

Jensen's lips were soft and his kiss was firm. Jared felt something click into place as he tilted his head to slot their lips together more perfectly. They fit together as inevitably as two interlocking puzzle pieces. His heart felt full, and his body arched toward Jensen's as if Jared was a plant and Jensen was the sun. He tried to take a step forward, but there was nowhere to go; Jensen was already plastered against him. Jared imagined he could feel Jensen's heart beating through layers of sinew and bone and cotton against the beat of his own.

With effort, his wrenched his lips away. They hadn't even opened their mouths, but they were breathing hard. Jensen licked his lips and Jared leaned down quickly, tracing Jensen's path with his own tongue. Jensen shivered, as if he'd been jolted by static electricity. Then he chased Jared's tongue with his, finding his own path into Jared's mouth. 

Kissing Jensen closed mouth had felt like the answer to every question Jared had ever had. Kissing him open-mouthed had Jared bubbling over with pure, mindless craving. He needed Jensen underneath him, preferably naked, right now.

"Can I show you my bedroom?" he asked. "Please?"

"Uh, yeah." Jensen looked a little dazed. "Good idea."

The ten foot walk felt like a mile, but eventually they got there, and Jared pushed Jensen down the bed, maybe a little harder than strictly necessary, but Jensen just parted his mouth and let out a little groan, scrambling up against Jared's dark green sheets, kicking off his boots along the way.

"Fuck, Jensen, you belong in my bed," Jared said. Jensen looked both needy and predatory as he stripped off his shirt in response, and unbuttoned his fly, sliding a hand in between the folds of fabric, his eye lids half lowered. Jared couldn't tear his gaze away from where Jensen's hand was kneading at flesh he couldn't see. His own cock felt iron hard in his jeans, and he made quick work of his shoes, socks, and shirt, climbing up on the bed next to Jensen, kissing his way up Jensen's torso, stopping to pay careful attention to his nipples, to his collarbone, to the juncture of his neck and jaw. Jensen just sighed and groaned and kept touching himself unselfconsciously.

"Jen, you're so hot, fuck." Jared echoed Jensen's movements, getting open his jeans and reaching down to palm his erection. He didn't have enough room to really move, so he slid the jeans down and off, taking his boxer briefs with them. He glanced at Jensen's face. Jen was staring at Jared's dick, bared to his gaze except for where his hand was wrapped around it, squeezing lightly to stave off coming at the sight of Jensen's open, hungry expression.

"Can I blow you?" Jensen's voice was pure gravel by now, rough and needy.

"Jen, if you put your mouth on me right now I'm going to come in like two seconds."

Jensen looked up through his lashes, licked his lips. Fucker. "So?"

"Fuck. Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."

It took a bit longer than two seconds, but soon Jared was coming in long ropes, his entire body taut with the orgasm, right into Jensen's throat. Jensen's eyes were closed, his cheeks hollowed out. Jared would keep the image of the first time Jensen blew him in his top five most beautiful things he'd ever seen for the rest of his life.

When he got his breath back, he rolled Jensen back over onto the bed, wrestling his jeans and boxers down over his hips, not even bothering to get them all the way off before returning the favor, the weight of Jensen's thick cock satisfying on his tongue, the taste of him salty and raw and just as hot as the rest of him.

They lay side by side, trading long kisses as the shadows lengthened and afternoon gave way to evening.

Jared's lips were tingling and Jensen's were red and puffy when they finally, reluctantly, pulled away from each other.

"You're a good kisser," Jensen said.

"You're good at everything."

Jensen smiled slyly. "We haven't done everything yet."

"Not yet," Jared agreed. "But we're going to."

"Definitely. I want it all, Jared."

Jared knew what Jensen meant. "You can have it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the chapter count because I want to do one more chapter wrapping things up with all their friends...thanks for staying with me!


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy epilogue!

_Six weeks later_

It was another night in Gen and Katie's apartment. They'd just finished up their college campus tour, and they'd invited everyone over to hang out and jam. Gen smiled so hard when Jensen and Jared showed up at her door holding hands that she'd practically stuck that way. She ushered them in, took Jensen's guitar case from him carefully for later, and basically squealed and squeed until Katie forced her into the kitchen to get another round of drinks instead of interrogating them.

Jensen didn't mind. He was proud that he was here with the hottest guy in the room. Or any room, for that matter. And they'd just celebrated an important milestone. Jared had met Maria today, at the end of Jensen's weekly appointment.

"So this is the man Jensen can't stop talking about," she'd said, giving him a firm handshake and warm smile.

"Hey, what happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?" Jensen had pretended to be annoyed, but he knew the giant grin he was wearing took the edge off anything he might say. He couldn't help it. He was too happy to be snarky.

"I'm so happy to meet you." Jared's manners were, of course, impeccable. Jensen could tell he'd been a little nervous, though, to meet someone that was so important to Jensen. But Jensen hadn't been nervous at all. The six weeks he and Jared had been together had been the best six weeks of his life. They'd talked every day, and seen each other nearly as often. They'd spent the weekends together, and Jensen was considering telling Jared not to bother unpacking the rest of his as-yet-unpacked boxes from his previous move, because there was plenty of room at his house. He wanted to wake up to Jared every morning in their bed.

But he'd work up to it. Even though Jared seemed to be as into this relationship as he was, there was such a thing as going too fast. Except, since their very first kiss, too fast didn't seem fast enough. They were always aching for more, deeper, longer. Jensen couldn't get enough of Jared and he was pretty sure the reverse was true as well.

Hence, the grin that wouldn't go away.

They got food, greeted Megalyn and another of Gen's bandmates, Tanya, and Sterling arrived not long after with his keyboards. They ate barbecue chicken and coleslaw and washed it all down with cold beer—water for Jensen.

And when the sun had gone down and the crickets would have been chirping if they hadn't been in the city, they got our their instruments. Jensen took up the same spot on the couch that he had before, but he had his own guitar in his hands this time, familiar and trustworthy. Jared sat close to him, watching him tune it like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen, even though by now Jensen had played for him a half-dozen times.

They started with some crowd pleasers, Jared once again falling into the role of audience and cheerleader, and then Jensen leaned over to whisper something in Gen's ear. She nodded, and he sat back.

"Okay, people, Jensen's got something he wants to try out on us," Gen announced. 

Jensen caught Jared's raised eyebrows and threw him a little smile. He was a bit nervous, flashing back to the night he'd sang "Take Me to Church." He'd been singing it for Jared, before Jared was his, and now he was singing for him again.

"Imma do another Hozier song," he said. He didn't have to say why. Everyone could probably tell how in love he was every time he looked at Jared, but he didn't care. He was in love, even though the words had stuck in his throat every time he'd tried to get them out these last few weeks. Instead of speaking, he sang.

_When you move  
I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be  
When you move  
I could never define all that you are to me_

He sang his heart out, because that was easy to do when his heart beat for the man sitting next to him, the man he'd go home with tonight, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He didn't care if it was too fast. Maybe when it came to them, there was no such thing.

The last notes of the song faded out and everyone clapped enthusiastically. Everyone but Jared. Jensen looked over at him, but wasn't expecting to see what he saw in his eyes. They looked wet, and Jared's lips were turned down at the edges. 

"You okay?" Jensen asked, a little worried.

"Yeah," Jared sucked in a deep, noisy breath. "Yeah, I'm—" He stopped, glanced around. Everyone was looking at them. Suddenly, Jared got to his feet, and made for the balcony. Jensen forgot about everyone else, tore off his guitar and followed, desperate to know what Jared was thinking.

They closed the sliding glass door behind them, the night air warm and still.

"Sorry, I'm okay," Jared said. He wiped at his eyes.

"Yeah? You're scaring me, babe," Jensen said.

"No, it's just—I'm—" He took a deep breath and let the rest out in a rush. "I'm in love with you. I love you so much, Jensen, and that song. You—you're so beautiful and the way you sang, like you were singing it for me. God, what did I do to deserve someone as beautiful as you?"

Jensen relaxed. Jared's tears were happy tears. "Babe, I _was_ singing for you. Because I'm in love with you. I love you, too."

"Yeah?" Jared smiled at that, squinting at Jensen through the film of tears. "I thought maybe—"

"Of course I do. I've been wanting to tell you forever."

"Forever?"

"I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you forever. I just didn't know it until six weeks ago. Because we're meant to be together."

"Meant to be. I never thought I'd be lucky enough to find anyone as amazing as you." Jared pulled Jensen to him, wrapping him in his long arms, connecting them from cheek to shin. He sniffed into Jensen's hair. What a sap. What a gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, kind sap. Jensen's sap. Jensen's everything.

What the hell, why not go all the way? "I think you should move in with me," Jensen said, holding his breath after the words left his lips.

"I thought you'd never ask," Jared said, startling a laugh out of Jensen, which he chased with a kiss, soft, and then harder. Wetter. Deeper. Until they were in danger of losing control on Gen's balcony, with all of Austin three floors below and a roomful of their friends on the other side of a sliding glass door.

"You wanna get out of here?" Jared asked lazily. "Gen will understand."

"I thought you'd never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The last song Jensen sings is "Movement." Maybe it's not a love song, but it makes me feel a lot of longing, but in an upbeat way? 
> 
> This pairing fills me with a lot of pure joy, which is always badly needed. Find me on Tumblr @fictionallemons


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